Motherhood Unplugged- Things I Could Have Done Better
There I was with a new born baby. There I was with zero clues as to how I am going to raise him. There I was completely stunned at how my entire world had changed OVERNIGHT.
2 years and 8 months on, take this as a gradual "throwback" on what I know I could have done better. And an SOS for the next time around.
Don't Sweat It
Oh boy, this one didnt come to me for a while and I still struggle with it. But I do the "check yourself" thing, where I stop, completely pause everything I'm doing and check in with what I'm actually fretting about. 95% of time it's not even that big of a deal. There really isnt a " New Mom Manual" that comes with a kid and majority of the time we learn on the job. The job is 365 days a year, not paid, there is no higher promotion,sometimes no incentive but ample frustrations and lets not forget extremely overwhelming.You will make so many mistakes, cry about it and eventually figure it out babes. You might struggle with getting the hang of it today but you will master it tomorrow. Seriously, Don't Sweat It. It's just Parenting!
Get Organised
What a joke this one was. My husband would say this to me almost every minute and I would constantly get annoyed at him and do some midnight yoga after a breastfeeding session. But THIS is essential if you want the slightest bit of SANITY and ME TIME. I'm not military with anything in my life. I'm incredibly laid back and do everything off the cuff. From my recipes to raising a child. There really is nothing wrong with that. But two months after having a new born, I realised I need a system. I need controlled & calculated chaos to this whole Motherhood thing.
So I organised my days as much as I could. It's the little things I found that really helped me. Like preparing the breakfast the night before and making extra portions of food to last me another couple of days. I also got into a routine of getting myself ready first thing in the morning while the husband was still home before work. I'm not talking about contouring and highlighting the bridge of my nose. A simple shower, hair diffuser and a lip balm will do.
Ask for Help- You Will Need It
It is true when they say " It takes a village to raise a child" . That is how I was raised. My parents had extensive help before we moved countries. Two healthy sets of grand parents and lots of my parents family. So if they wanted, there was help around to relieve my mom even just to have a cup of coffee or comb through her hair!
Moms we need that time out.Whether it is to change your seating position,have a cup of tea with a book (even if its just the footnotes you get an opportunity to read) TAKE IT!
It took me a while to grasp that. I would forever carry that feeling of guilt when I would ask for help. Soon to only realise, what good would I be to my child if I dont take care of myself? So came
, thanks Urban Dictionary.
It's okay to ask for help. You will be amazed at how many people come forward when you ask!
Be Realistic With Your EXPECTATIONS
Coming to terms with a brand new routine overnight can be a bit much. It's completely daunting. What we had pictured in our heads may not be what is presented infront of us. And accepting that is probably the biggest step I had to learn.
The day we were released from the hospital, I thought in my head we would be coming to a home that smells of fresh organic cotton sheets, newly washed and ironed baby blankets and a super clean house. What we walked into I can only describe as total CHAOS & PANIC. Juno was a month early. I straight away got to cleaning, doing the dishes and trying to sort out anything that " I thought" needed help. This went on for a couple weeks before I admitted that Life and the Routine we used to have prior to baby has now changed and its time to adapt. Change is a scary concept anyway, add in having a kid and it all goes to shit.
Do not EXPECT to have a clean, ELLE DECORATIONS type house 24/7- IT AINT HAPPENING. But if you know someone that has a new born or a toddler, with a house as spanking as that. Holla at your girl.
Do not EXPECT to be out the door at a certain time on the dot ( But if you must must must Pre Prepare for this the previous night and Don't Sweat It)
Do not EXPECT the world of yourself. You are new to this and so is the baby. You are only human so be realistic with yourself too babes.
Being a Mother, there will be moments when you question your every move, motive and method. I am guilty of this even now. I'm okay with that because I'm still learning. As a Mother we will learn everyday. Every phase of bringing up a child will teach us a lesson. It took me a while to realise that Motherhood isn't going to be as hunky dory and talking about it to a friend and writing a journal really helped me. Soon I found the parenting that works for us.
We all want the same thing at the end of this. We all want our children to be happy and enjoy parenting while we make that happen. The destination is the same. But we will all travel a different journey to get there.
If motherhood has taught me anything so far, its Be The Best You Can Be. Be Real. Be You.
I loved loved loved writing this post. I hope you loved loved loved reading too.
Please let me know in the comments if this was insightful or just a load of balls.
Much Love Babes
Aj