Creating Our Village
It is no revelation that IT TAKES A VILLAGE to raise our kids. Maternal & Paternal peeps to help out when they can. Our responsibility to not be afraid to ask for an extra hand when we need it.
Whether it is to get an hour of shut eye, get out the door for 20 minutes to expand those lungs or just to have a hot cup of something. We need that village.
But what happens when you don't have access to that village? Do you miss out? Do the children miss out?
Well, I have been in this predicament since starting this Parenting adventure and here is what I have worked out.
In this day and age, not everyone has the, I am going to call it luxury because it really really is. Not many families have the luxury of bringing children up with both maternal and paternal families, geographically placed in the same spot.
For instance, my family live in Dubai & communication sometimes is a mere 10 minutes before I have to rush to start the parental duties of feeding & simultaneously supervising potty training. So I've got myself being pulled in a few directions ha ha
But saying that, raising kids away from family isn't so bad at all. There are incredible amounts of perks!
So here are a few things I have learnt along the way; that has helped me cope.
Create Your Own Village
Being a mother is amazing but at the same time emotionally + mentally exhausting. You aren't just responsible for your thoughts anymore, you got to think for the little ones too.
So talk to your close ones. They don't even have to be living in the same country. I constantly whatsaap my girls when I need to rant & vent. We are so lucky with the communication platform we now have, so use it!
When you have a trusted circle of friends that have become family over the years, ask them to look after the kids for a couple of hours while you and the hubby enjoy a glass of wine down the road.
My playground has been amazing to make friends with fellow mamas & Instagram has been an awesome source where I have found my tribe too. Meeting them for coffees and lunches when we all have an afternoon free has been a saviour.
Share What You Know & Has Helped
Sharenting is pretty awesome in my opinion and I for one am all about shouting about what has helped work certain things in my parenting duties. So much of it is trial and error, but why not share among parents to help one another? Like the YouTube channel that will put your infant to sleep or that Amazon travel potty that is going to save your life on those road trips!
Oh God! I know a few that read this little section might hate me but wtf! I absolutely love and protect my parental confidence. In the sense, both my husband and I play on the same team. We know we've got to keep it moving and that "Grand Ma' isn't going to pick Juno up from school on a Thursday when maybe I am not feeling all that well.
Or when you are in a "we have run out of bread" situation, you grab both the kids and do the grocery run while the eldest has a hissy fit because you will not buy him candy.
You learn to do it all, and do it with confidence.
So so important when you live away from family. Making that extra effort to do things. We constantly are off on road trips seeking as much adventures as we possibly can. We just came back from a weekend in the Isle of Wight with the kids and we all had the best time.
And if we are on a budget for that month, we have date night's at home. I cook a banging meal and Jon gets the kids to calm the F down. We all eat together and cuddle up for a movie.
This gives us so much quality time together and one cannot put a price on it.
Ofcourse, we feel like we are sometimes on a deserted island with the kids with no one but us to sort shit out. But on the other hand, we are so thankful for everyday and those around us that help by supporting us emotionally.
Both my husband and I are a pretty great parenting team; most days on the same page and then there are days where we parent so differently it actually gets on my nerves.
And I suppose as much as having our families around us would be so incredible, it has taught us to work together. Share the responsibility and be the parents we really want to be. This parenting thing is a constant lesson where there is no right or wrong.
With the birth of our kids, came the birth of becoming a Mama & Papa too.
Do what works for your kids and your family as a whole. But really, bloody enjoy it. Now I have 3 people to share my amazing life with and I couldn't be more happier.
Here's a toast to all parents, single or double doing the damn thing to the best of their ability man!